Can menopause derail my relationships
The perfect storm of hormones teens and long relationships
The Relationship Dilemma by Pam Custers
Q.
I am 52 in a stable relationship and have two teenage children one at school one at university. I haven’t felt myself for the past couple of years. I have mood swings which I put down to “that time of life” I have kept thinking that this will change and it’s just a phase. My children are about to leave home and somehow my husband and I don’t feel like we have much connection. I feel disloyal complaining as from the outside my life is really very good. My sleep is disturbed and I feel constantly stressed yet there is nothing that I should be stressed about. My husband is enjoying his career why can’t I enjoy life. I feel constantly out of sorts yet also feel guilty for feeling this way as its impacting on my whole family.
A.
Thank you for reaching out. What comes through in your letter is that you are at a moment in your life when you want to start taking charge of your life. The menopause, the change, the pause, whatever you call it, it is a time to re-evaluate our lives. Hormones collide at a time of great change in our lives. Our children are starting to leave the nest, partners will now have a clear idea of their career trajectory and in turn what this means for your family and indeed for your life. The menopause can be the perfect storm! When life just seems to be at odds.
Some women experience this time as stressful. You may have a sense that you no longer know yourself like you did prior to the menopause. How you react will depend on several things including your health, your relationship, your identity, mental health and if you have achieved the things that you want to in your life.
Hormone changes may contribute to a depressed mood. We can swing from Joy to frustration and irritation in a blink of an eye. The debate continues if the menopause does causes depression but professionals agree that it effects mood. Understanding if depression or anxiety is due to menopause is a rather complex process. If you are worrying about your mood, stress, anxiety or you wish to enjoy your life it may be useful to talk to a professional who can help you through this challenging process.
Counselling can be a hugely liberating process where you can reclaim your innate ability to recalibrate your life and take charge of your happiness. This gift of recalibration is your time to shine.
Pam Custers is an experienced therapist working with individuals, couples and families.
MA. BA (Psych) Hons and is a RELATE trained. MBACP (accredited)
Her practice works with individuals couples and families. She has four highly trained and compassionate associates who offer sessions in three London locations and if you are further afield, on Skype.
Contact 07572 841 388 www.pamcusters.co.uk
Pam Custers & Associates. The Relationship Practice.
