Coping with Our “New” Freedom
Lessons to hold onto from the Pandemic’s Restrictions
Phew! We got through it! Well, we think we have. We hope we have. After a year of multiple lockdowns, social distancing, isolation, and untold restrictions…. we are now almost “free” to live our lives like we used to. But do we want to? Yes, is the first answer. But upon more reflection: are we really ready?
This has been a time of forced-upon reflection for many. Some face the lifted restrictions with zeal and eagerness…. others with trepidation. We may balance the joy of socialising with the fear of putting ourselves, or our loved ones, at continued risk. That dilemma brings with it a constant underlying stress. To mask or not to mask? To fly or not to fly? To go into the office or WFH? .. even for some to jab or not to jab?
The conclusion I have reached is a positive one: we’ve been through a tough time but are each more strong and more resilient because of it. Some of us aren’t that lucky and my heart goes out to those victims of the virus. For others, the path to this point of freedom was circuitous. It is evident that many of us facing midlife were caught in their own minds during the restrictions: spinning in a maelstrom. This frustration which naturally compounds at 50+ – why do GPs automatically prescribe anti-depressants?- grew exponentially more when living with forced restrictions. Is this really the house I’m going to live in for the rest of my life? Is this the partner I’m spending The Next Half century with? When will my kids stop moaning? Are my kids moaning (i.e., communicating) enough? What about MY OWN needs: my job, the career I yearn for, my dreams and aspirations…when can I address these issues without the chokehold of a house that is full of family members and their needs? For some the maelstrom is the hollow sound of nothingness: of living alone and the painful din of silence and choke hold of loneliness. It’s not an exaggeration to say the Lockdown and it’s restrictions drained us all.
Natural generational pressures of parents ageing, teens growing and leaving home, and mid-life questions of contentment have magnified for many during the pandemic. We all know – or are – the woman who left her career and is trying to figure out how to return. Some achieve this with success. Many do not. The lucky still-employed are facing the burdens of managing their “day jobs” whilst balancing their responsibilities of being a good xxxxx (fill in the blank: mother, child, partner…all of above). The pressure was at breaking point, but we got through it.
To say that the last 17 months have been trying is an understatement. Through trying times, though, lessons are learned. Retaining these lessons is what makes us each better versions of ourselves. Let’s remember those lessons as we go out into the world, however cautiously we choose to proceed.
Lessons from Lockdown:
Do we need reflection and time to make our own goals before we jump into socialising again? The answer is yes. Let’s use this time to reflect upon what we’ve learned during this period of lockdown and restrictions. What is important to you individually? What are your values, goals? Label them, know them, and carry them into the now re-opening society. Let us also recognise the world outside has changed.
Whatever habits we developed for mindfulness and peace, let’s remember to continue them when we leave the restrictions. I discovered a love of painting by numbers and backgammon and plan to will continue these. I find peace and contentment in them and that’s the key. Let’s remember what brought us peace during the endless months of restrictions and try to continue to incorporate them into our lives.
Let’s also examine our individual friend networks. Remember quantity is not necessarily as rewarding and re-energising as quality. Over the last 17 months of restrictions, perhaps our own personal values and priorities have most probably become clearer because we have all had lots of “thinking time”. Does your friend network align with and support your values? If not, is it time to expand, reduce, tweak that “circle of friends”? Let’s think about our individual betterment before jumping back into our old habits and way of life. Let’s focus on relationships that are mutually beneficial, that make us feel good, and help crystallise and achieve goals. If you haven’t seen or missed someone during the restrictions, is it really necessary to re-kindle that friendship?
Let’s also reflect on any bad habits we may have developed over the surreal last 18 months: do we need that wine every day? I need to start asking myself if the daily chocolate intake is really necessary? Now that the restrictions are over, let’s think about what else we may want to leave behind!
It’s time to re-emerge from our experience, like bears from their hibernation. Let’s retain and grow from what we learned. Let’s fortify ourselves to be better and stronger individuals who incorporate into our future lives what we discovered about ourselves during the last 18 months. It’s time to live without restrictions and find the level with which we are each individually comfortable. Let’s be part of a generation that wants to improve the economy, the environment, and mental health for our younger generation. Let’s insist we leave them with a better world … literally and figuratively.
